The Exhaustion Dilemma

Are you running on fumes, barely making it through the day? Midwife exhaustion may be inevitable at times, but it does not have to be your everyday reality. What if you could stop just surviving and start feeling like yourself again—energized, purposeful, and with rediscovered professional joy?

So what is between you and living a personal and professional life that feels sustainable and rewarding?   When I recently surveyed 43 practicing midwives, the #1 answer was exhaustion.

Big surprise?

No, not really.  However, the companion challenge that goes along with exhaustion is the belief that that is just how it is, and there is not much you can do about it except reduce your caseload or quit. And the surprise may be, that belief is simply not true.

In this blog, we’ll dive into exhaustion and what you can do about it, in order to minimize your depletion and maximize your resources.

I'll give you 5 actionable steps to start getting out of exhaustion right away.

I’m sure you can relate to feeling like you’re dragging yourself through each day, trying to summon the energy for the things that you wanted to do. Maybe it was spending time with your family, taking care of yourself, or being efficient with your postpartum visits (while still giving full presence to your clients!). But  you’re running on fumes, and no matter how much you push, you nearly always feel behind. 

It’s beyond exhausting and frustrating when the motivation you used to feel for your work seems so far away, and everything starts to feel like a chore. Maybe you start wondering if you’re even making a difference anymore…or thinking about alternate careers. 

And let’s be real—when you’re that tired, and in that mindset, it’s incredibly disempowering. The idea of pursuing personal goals or changing the system or even looking forward to the day feels like a fairy tale.

It’s easy to snap at someone over something minor when you’ve got nothing left in the tank. Of course you don’t want to be short-tempered, but when you are exhausted, even the smallest things can cause a terse reaction.  Since we must  control that with our clients and colleagues, it’s usually our families (or innocent strangers!) who bear the brunt of it.

Let’s go back for a moment to  that constant, nagging feeling of being behind—at work, at home, everywhere. It feels like the next urgent thing is always coming right at you, and it’s hard to keep up with all the rest when you’re running on empty. The to-do list only seems to get longer and it’s exhausting just thinking about how to catch up!

Unfortunately, the more exhausted we are the more we turn to maladaptive survival mode coping strategies that really keep us stuck in the downward energy spiral.

That’s natural, and there are a lot of built-in reasons we do that, but when have we ever been taught or even felt permission to do anything else?  We are told to use will power, to keep pushing through, and these things lead to repeatedly feeling like a failure or inadequate.

The good news?  There is another way. You deserve better than just surviving, and there are evidence based strategies to get you out of  survival mode and overwhelm, and back to a life that feels worth living.

Can you imagine or remember times you’re moving with purpose, with energy to spare for the things that light you up?  Feeling lighter, more capable, and even eager to take on that project? Maybe not bouncing out of bed like a superhero, but certainly having the steady energy to get through your day without feeling like you're running on empty within a few hours.

There’s such a difference in how much more present you’re feeling—in your work, in your relationships, and with yourself. Instead of your thoughts flying in 67 different directions to all the other things you need to do, you’re able to focus and engage with what’s right in front of you. 

You remember why you love this work, and you understand how to let it nourish you even when it’s demanding.

With more energy comes more clarity, and you begin to be able to identify and prioritize the important over the urgent. You've shifted out of survival mode into a life that feels like yours again—more fulfilling, more balanced, and definitely with elements of fun.

Speaking of Fairy Tales…. I am not suggesting that you will never again feel exhausted.  We know there will be times when we do have to push through, like those birth storms when there is no one to relieve us. Research shows however, that both sleep debt and energy reserves for recovery are cumulative.  In other words, the more exhausted you already are going into an unavoidable long haul, the longer it is going to take you to recover.  And naturally, the better rested you are going into the same scene, the faster you will be able to recover.

I’m not going to lie. It takes some time and commitment to turn this ship around.  But the cost of NOT doing it is so very high.  And it’s NOT hard to START.  Once you start, you can gain and build momentum.

Here are five steps you can start taking now:

1. Prioritize Sleep Recovery Techniques: Sleep isn’t just about how many hours you get—it’s about how restorative those hours are. Even when you're running on limited sleep, you can still make it count. Try using simple techniques like extended exhale breathing or body scanning before bed. These send a signal to your nervous system that it’s time to unwind, so you can get better quality sleep, even if the quantity isn’t quite what you’d like.

2. Take Microbreaks to Reset Stress: Stress builds up throughout the hours, especially when you're always on the go. Without your realizing it, that stress baseline creeps higher and higher. Taking just a few minutes here and there for a microbreak—deep breathing, stretching, or even stepping outside for light and air—can do wonders for lowering that baseline. Think of these tiny resets as an investment in your future rest when you finally get some time off.

3.Use Nutrition and Hydration to Support Recovery: It’s easy to forget, but what you eat and drink plays a huge role in how well you recover. Staying hydrated and grabbing something simple like nuts or fruit on the go can give your body the support it needs, especially during those long, unpredictable nights. When you make healthier food choices, you’re not just fueling yourself in the moment—you’re fueling your recovery, too.   Conversely, even if you feel like it doesn't affect your sleep, both alcohol and caffeine in the hours before sleep cause reduced sleep quality. (Before you panic, I am not advising caffeine abstinence, only that you enjoy it strategically!)

4. Watch for Signs of Elevated Baseline Stress: As mentioned, your stress baseline might be stuck in high gear without you even realizing it. If you’re finding it hard to wind down, feeling restless, or waking up still tired, these are signs that your body’s default stress levels are higher than they should be. When you spot these signs, it’s time to lean into stress management, whether that’s a quick walk, some mindfulness, or even just giving yourself permission to take a proper break.

5. Treat Rest and Recovery as Clinical Skills: Rest and recovery aren’t just nice-to-haves—they’re critical to your well-being and your ability to keep doing what you do. Think of them as part of your skill set, something to practice and get better at. Taking time to rest isn’t a luxury; it’s a professional strategy that ensures you can keep showing up at your best, without running yourself into the ground.

I hear you—it feels like you’re already stretched to the limit, and the thought of doing anything extra is just laughable. 

But here’s the thing: reworking your habits and priorities isn’t about adding more to your to-do list. It’s actually about reshuffling things in ways that take less out of you. 

The truth is, the survival strategies you’re relying on—pushing through, skipping meals, relying on sugar, junk food and caffeine, ignoring your body’s signals—are probably costing you more energy and time than they’re saving. 

They keep you in this cycle of just getting by, and you’re running on fumes without even realizing it.

It’s like pedaling a bike with flat tires. You’re moving forward, but every push takes so much energy. By making a few small shifts, you’re not adding more work—you’re making things easier. Little things like taking a breather during the day or actually staying hydrated might seem expendable, but they’re the things that help you stop bleeding time and energy. They are putting air in your tires! And once you start making these tweaks, you’ll probably wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

And here’s the kicker: when you stop operating in survival mode, your brain gets the chance to perform like it’s meant to. Your reaction times sharpen up, decisions get easier, and you can process and remember information more clearly. 

This obviously matters—especially when you’re working in high-stakes, fast-moving situations. Instead of feeling like you’re constantly trying to keep up, you’ll find yourself moving through your work hours with a bit more ease and clarity. So, no—it’s not about doing more. It’s about getting back the time and energy you’re leaking out every day, so you can get more done with less effort.

Exhaustion is something every midwife knows all too well—feeling like you’re constantly dragging yourself through the day, always behind, crabby, and wondering where your energy went. But I’m here to preach that it doesn’t have to be that way. 

The key isn’t doing more or finding extra time (who has that?)—it’s about reshuffling what’s already on your plate so that your habits and priorities are working for you, not against you. Simple tweaks like taking microbreaks, eating in a way that nourishes and fuels your body, and managing stress can help you reclaim energy and get you back to feeling like you’re actually in control. Let me say it again: these tweaks aren’t “extra” tasks—they’re the secret sauce to getting more done with less effort.

It is the height of injustice, but fatigue itself leads to sleep deprivation. It's part of that cumulative negative spiral I was talking about. Yes, in the longer run you will need to learn about recovery sleep, sleep debt, sleep banking and other evidence based insights and strategies, but for now the important thing is to start breaking that negative cumulative cycle with the simple strategies and mindset shift I've covered in this blog.

I realize there’s a lot here to unpack, and it will take some time to shift things around and get these changes feeling easy and natural. But here’s the good news: even small steps really can make a big difference in short order. With each tweak, you’ll start to feel more energized, clearer-headed, and less overwhelmed. Each time you feel those things, you'll feel more hope and optimism, which are stress cycles breakers in and of themselves!

Remember, It’s not about doing everything at once, but about building small habits that will slowly but cumulatively and surely shift you from surviving to feeling more alive again. Real change takes real time, and we all need support along the way, but trust me—it’s worth it, and you’ll feel the benefits sooner than you think.

Anna Jean Bradley

September 24, 2024

You don’t have to keep pushing through exhaustion. Let’s work together to create a plan that recharges you personally and professionally—book your no charge sleep and recovery consult call with me today.